scoundrelnurlife:

sqooper:

wallpatterns:

The other day I went to McDonald’s with my family and the guy who took my order was really loud and was basically like “HAPPY HOLIDAYS WHAT CAN I GET YOU” and I was like wow I can’t let this guy outmatch me so I yelled “I’LL TAKE A HAPPY MEAL WITH THE NUG NUGS IF I MAY” you know, like a natural well-adjusted epitome of adulthood 19 year old and he was like “CERTAINLY WOULD YOU LIKE THE MIGHTY KIDS MEAL INSTEAD WITH EXTRA FRIES” and I was so sleep deprived I essentially blacked out and apparently leaned over the counter like I was robbing the place, raised my eyebrow like a suave robin hood and said “HECK YES I WOULD GOOD SIR” and then I sat down and he yelled from across the store “WOULD YOU LIKE THE PURPLE OR BLUE SPIDER-MAN” and since purple is the more superior color that’s how I answered and long story short my parents think college changed me and that I’m now the poster child for being social and I’ve only been asked once why I’m not in a relationship yet but I know it’s gonna be brought up again and how do i tell my parents it’s because whenever I eat in the dining hall I spend the entire time playing bumper cars with the wheeley chairs and all I eat is pixie sticks and the last time I was in the library (where I’m supposed to work next semester, deAr GoD) I ripped my leggings in the bathroom pulling up my pants and I walked the entire 20 mins back to my dorm with my neon underwear peeking out from the holes like a 17th century harlot with a cocaine addiction and I’ve essentially been living off jars of peanut butter and the soundtrack to the bee movie for the past year

there’s more information in this post than there was in the library of alexandria

op did you breathe typing this because I didn’t while reading it

(via circleturk)

gingerhaze:

(via whateverthepoodle-deactivated20)

cipheramnesia:

runcibility:

hadassahgrace:

Big Strap-on Energy

Apparently, the woman on the right is Loora Wang, a Vietnamese fashion designer. Here you go, thirst-tumblr:

This is a kind of new level of murder look scientists did not believe was possible.

(via handjob)

busybeingtrashasusual:

joshpeck:

angelwarm:

angelwarm:

i hope that one day i will finally be ok….i’ll make a cherry pie when it is all over

today is the day

reblog the cherry pie to be ok

The cherry pie worked for me and here’s to hoping it’ll work for you too

(via whateverthepoodle-deactivated20)

whateverthepoodle-deactivated20:

Today I did things!!

✅ Worked for several hours on my presentation.

✅ Walked 12k steps.

✅ Did a keratin/protein treatment on my hair.

✅ Cleaned my room.

✅ Vacuumed my room and the hallway.

✅ Home cooked all of my meals today.

✅ Ate lots of veggies.

whateverthepoodle-deactivated20:

Today I did things!!

✅ Worked for several hours on my presentation.

✅ Walked 12k steps.

✅ Did a keratin/protein treatment on my hair.

✅ Cleaned my room.

✅ Vacuumed my room and the hallway.

✅ Home cooked all of my meals today.

✅ Ate lots of veggies.

smallest-feeblest-boggart:

drferox:

the-ol-homosexual:

Can we talk about how in zombie shows/movies/books they always find a veterinarian and not a surgeon? Are veterinarians deemed more likely to survive the apocalypse?

Yup.

• One of our professional skills is ‘not being bitten by patients’
• We actually have a good broad knowledge base for both surgical, medical, and GP things
• We’re used to improvising equipment because a lot of stuff is just not made for animals
• Meat safety is part of our training
• Our cars are often full of equipment, especially in mixed practice
  
• We probably weren’t in the human hospital at the initial outbreak
  

This post is deemed culturally, historically, or aesthetically significant as certified by the National Shitpost Registry.

(via goosewithajob)

yikes-aubs:

september will be kind. september will be kind. september will be kind. september will be kind. september will be kind. september will be kind. 

(via resonance-of-libra)